What's Wrong With Naruto?
by Ai Romnol
Summary: Naruto is launched into an AU by Orochimaru and knows it. He must find his way home befriending parallel people who are just plain strange. So Parallel Kakashi/Naruto pairing and others. Rated for theme and my own mouth. Full Sum inside, sorry.
1. Prologue

**What's Wrong With Naruto?**

**Full Summary**: Naruto is launched into a parallel universe by one of Orochimaru's live forever experiments, where he replaces the parallel him in the other world and the parallel him replaces himself in the real world! As he finds a way back home, he encounters a creepy depressed Sakura, a Sasuke who drools over every passing girl (and guy), a batcrap crazy Hinata and an Orochimaru whose the very meaning of nice and goodliness! So what's the Parallel Kakashi to do when he finds himself as Naruto's guardian until he "get's better"?

**A/N:** This will mostly be written from the Parallel Kakashi's PoV, except for the prologue. That will be third person. So it's an iffy Naruto/Kakashi pairing. Maybe. If I can update. Which I can't. Well, whatever. Enjoy the semi-crack.

**Warnings**: Semi-crack, shounen ai(for the most part), some yaoi and general insanity later on. Oh and Orochimaru/Sasuke pairing. Definitely. But like, a crackish pairing. One-sided Kabuto/Naruto.

**Disclaimer:** Is this story really in the manga/anime plot line? No? Is Naruto random, bursting with characters from other games and shows who appear randomely? _No? _Then Naruto isn't mine.

~**^**~

* * *

Naruto was currently racing to God-knows-where at three o'clock in the morning in sleep pants, bright red boxers with foxes on them, and an arsenal of weapons that would make Superman pale and cringe in fear.

_'Damn Orochimaru and his experiments!' _Thought Naruto furiously. He was only racing towards the experiements because he heard that Sasuke was going to be there and it _would_ be a great chance to take a few swings at the both before kicking their butts and dragging Sasuke home. And that's exactly what he planned to do.

If all went well he could be home before breakfast.

Naruto was so absorbed in his imminent victory and inevitable breakfast that he failed to hear Kakashi, Sakura, Jaraiya and a lot of others call him back. Big mistake dude.

After a bit more running he outdistanced the people wanting to bring him back and reached the experiement site. What he found there would pretty much shock him into standing still for just long enough that things would go awry.

What he saw was so unbelieveably scary that if I simply wrote it half the people who would read this would faint and the other half might just get nosebleeds. Disappointing, ne?

"_Ahhhh... _Naruto. So good of the guest of honor to show up," Orochimaru pulled his tongue back in his mouth when he saw Naruto.

"You're such a nusiance, Naruto. We were in the middle of something," Sasuke said with an unhappy whine, pulling his top back on and straightening his butt-bow.

"Don't be so _unhappy_, Sasuke. You know this would not be possible to test without him," Orochimaru drawled slipping his sandals on.

"I know but it's seriously taking time...." Sasuke pulled a bang in an off-handed way.

Orochimaru caressed Sasuke's cheek, tracing his cheekbone with his thumb. "Soon we'll have _all_ the time in the world." Sleazy snake-like smile. Sasuke smiled back.

And Naruto stood there, transfixed and horrified. His eye may have twitched, but just a bit.

"_So... _Let's get started," Orochimaru said. He and Sasuke went around to the various equipment scattered around the clearing and started pulling levers and pushing buttons. There were what looked like lazors, one of those death machines you see in cartoons with the rotating spikes and extending arms holding scalpels and other sharp things. There was seemingly random computer machines sprouting out of the ground every few feet at odd angles. There was even a desk with a gold trophy on it in the shape of Kabuto.

So, after about three minutes of pushing, pulling levers, pressing buttons and flipping switches Naruto came back to himself.

"Jah-Just what the _hell was that_?! And why-what are you d-doing?!" Naruto exclaimed. It seems his shock hasn't wore off completely then.

"You'll see in a minute, my_ dear _fox-boy," Orochimaru said in the same creepy-love voice he used with Sasuke. Sasuke however pretended not to notice the tone and kept pressing colourful buttons.

Naruto's shock was replaced by anger as he slowly absorbed the fact that Orochimaru and Sasuke were about to used him in an experiement. "You're gunna use me in an experiment?" He asked incredulously.

"Trust me, you'll just _love_ it. It'll feel so wonderfull..... Unless of course it goes horribly wrong and then the pain will be _excruciating_, but you don't have to worry about that. We'll _make sure _that doesn't happen." Same love tone. Same creepiness in Orochimaru's voice. He seemed confident that everything was going to go right. Well, let's just knock him off that high horse now, yea?

Naruto took a few steps forward, ready to pound the living daylights out of Orochimaru when he tripped on a rather thick cable.

"No_ooooo!_" Orochimaru cried as the lazors fired and every piece of equipment either blew up or went off. There was a bright flash of white light, and Naruto was gone. Well, the Naruto they knew. They didn't know that the Naruto from the Parallel world was sleeping soundly in their Naruto's bed, undisturbed by the transaction.

The gold trophy shaped like Kabuto on the desk rattled with shock, and then anger as Orochimaru and Sasuke dismissed Naruto's disappearance and groped each other on their way home, leaving the mess.

_'I am _**so**_ gunna murderl them!!!! He was my boyfriend-to-be!!!'_ Kabuto rattled around in his small gold cage Orochimaru had trapped him in a week prior.

~**^**~

* * *

**A/N:** AHAHA PROLOGUE DONE. If only I can do so well with the rest of this story.

Poor Kabuto. *giggle*


	2. Kisses and Clean Houses

**What's Wrong With Naruto?**

**Chappie 1.**

**A/N:** Uhm... yay, second chapter? Eheh. I'll warn you if something more than a bit fluff is going on. I'm just gunna shove 'para' in front of the Parallel Character's names in the warnings.

**Warnings:** You know the warnings. If not, thats what the chap navagator in the corner is for. Go back to the Prologue. :D

Many random pairings that may/may not been seen again is common in this story.

Pedo**_phobia_**(not Pedo**_phillia_**) is apparent here.

**Disclaimer: **Since Parallel Kakashi does not exist in the Naruto world, since Orochimaru does not have a three-split personality in the Naruto world and since George Lopez doesn't make and appearance in the Naruto World, Naruto and all it's characters belong to the respective owners.

~***^***~

**Remember : This is the Parallel Kakashi's Point of View!!**

* * *

I was summoned to the Hokage's office again. What was it this time? Another lecture? Probably.

The Hokage's famous for giving lectures, on morality, on cleanliness, on anything that happened to annoy him. Heck, even on eating habits. No one ever listened though, it got old after a while.

And so, I prepared to stand and listen for hours on end about how I should do this, how I should do that, how I- Wait. I'm here, but where is the Hokage? His office is empty.

I walked into his office to hear a voice from behind me, as well as the door lock click. " Well hello, dear Hatake-sama." Oh God no, it's Ino.

I turned around and said "Oh, hullo Ino. Where's the Hokage? I was summoned by him."

"Oh, the Hokage's out. He, graciously allowed me to use his office."

"Uh-huh, is that right...."

She was walking toward me and I backed up to the desk. Was the window being unlocked and not sealed too much to ask for?

"Don't think you can escape Hatake-sama. This room is totally sealed. Aside from the air vents of course, but you're too big to fit through those." She laughed daintily.

"Oh, really..." I had plans for escape running through my head, killing a pre-teen in the Hokage's office would not look good, but I needn't have bothered. Ibiki popped his head through the door then anyway.

"Oh, there you are Kakashi! The Hokage is at Naruto's house. You should go there to meet him," he said all too cheerfully. "And miss Ino, what has the Hokage said? 'No molesting older men.'"

I breathed a sigh of relief and shot out the door, this time hurrying to the Hokage. Mostly to get away from Ino. I headed toward Naruto's house now, being careful to avoid any pre-teen girls and boys. What can I say? Children scare me. Which is why I'm not assigned to train Genin.

On the way I saw Sakura latching onto an older man. It kind of looked like Fugaku Uchiha from the back. Eh... I'm quite sure he'll shake her off sooner or later.

I saw the shape of the Hokage in front of Naruto's house in which a commotion was going on. It appeared Naruto was throwing a fit. Hokage Jaraiya was standing by, looking thoughtfull. "Kakashi-san.... You see how Naruto is behaving? It appears that the fox has addled him somewhat. Please take care of him until he comes back to himself."

_"W-what?!_ You cannot be serious Hokage-sama!!" I did not want to do this!

"But I am, Kakashi-san. I know you are... timid, around anyone younger than 18, and this, I believe will help you with that problem." My jaw dropped. Of course he knew! Everyone knew, which exactly was the reason _not_ to give me this assignment!

"But H-Hokage-sama-"

"No protests Kakashi-san. You will do this. Anyway, Orochimaru wants you to help train his team. He says he can handle it, but he wants to help you get over your... fear." Jaraiya walked away, to his office.

What a sucky day. "I_ really _don't like this." I murmured, wallowing in self-pity.

Apparently I wallowed for a while because I heard "What do you mean, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto was calmed down and at my elbow. I jumped and put a meter and a half between me and him.

"'Sensei'? Since when am I your sensei?" I tried to change the subject.

Naruto just shrugged and said "So, seriously, what don't you like that's got you all wound up?"

"....." I opted not to answer and just studied my charge. He was young, which I didn't like, he was only half dressed, which I didn't like and he was my _charge_ which was the worst of all. _'Damn you Orochimaru and all your good intentions.' _

"Kakashi-sensei?" He looked perplexed by my silence.

"I'm not your sensei. If you want to attach an honourific to my name it's -san, -sama or -senpai. Not sensei. I am not, nor will I ever be, your sensei." I realize I was prehaps being a bit too firm on this, but I would not have that kid call me sensei.

"How about... Kakashi-chan?" Naruto said with a grimlin smile.

"I prefer sensei."

"Awww! C'mon Kakashi-sens-er, -san! Lighten up! I was kidding!' Naruto laughed, which was rare for him. I gawked a bit.

Noticing the awkward tension finally he shut up. We just stood and looked at each other for a awhile. _'How the hell I am going to get through this?' _was running through my head.

"Anyway," I cleared my throat. "The Hokage has put me in charge of you until you come back to yourself."

"'Come back to myself'? Wha-?"

"The Hokage said it, not me!" Okay, this kid would not be a breeze to handle, as Orochimaru often said he was.

Hey! There's an idea! Since Orochimaru wanted to "help" me, let's let him really help me! He can take care of the kid. I'll hide.

"C'mon kid- uh, Naruto. We have to go see your sensei for a bit." I turned and walked off, not looking if he followed. But since I heard him shuffle behind me, I knew he was there. It kinda made me uncomfortable.

We walked to the other end of the village where Orochimaru was currently talking to his students about chakra. Again. Geez, he stresses that a lot.

"Oi, Oro-san! Come here for a minute!" I called at the edge of the field. He politely excused himself and walked over. I noticed his dark-haired student-Sasuke, his name was?- look at Naruto and begin to flush and drool. I'd rather not know what's going on in that kid's head.

"Yes, Kakashi-kun?" Orochimaru addressed me.

" I need to talk to you real quick." I told Naruto to wait and lead Orochimaru away from the kids.

"_You_ need to take care of _your_ student." I told him pointedly.

"Naruto-san?" Orochimaru's eyes grew wide. "But the Hokage said you'd take care of him!'

" I can't take care of him! Not alone! You know exactly how I feel about kids!"

"Yes, and that's exactly why you need to do this. Pedophobia is not an excuse for a ninja."

"For me it is!"

"_Kakashi-kun_! I'll help you, but I have other students as well. I'm not on call 24 hours a day."

I groaned. " I can't do this, I can't do this, _Ican'tdothis_."

He put his hands on my shoulders and smiled. "Yes you can Kakashi-kun!"

I looked at him disbelievingly.

"C'mon," he said wrapping one of his arms around my shoulders, " Why don't you just go home with him? You'll be spending a bit of time with him, so I'd grab some clothes from home and get set up for a while." He was still smiling that you-can-do-it-I-believe-you-can smile.

I sighed and okayed. His smile grew wider and we returned to the kids. Before he went back to the kids he kissed my cheek. He always did that as a goodbye to me, it's not like it was weird, it was just normal. But Naruto found it amazing and gaped. I nearly had to shake him to get his attention back, thankfully though, I didn't have to touch him.

"You gunna stay with me or should I stay with you?" I asked.

"Huh?"

"I'm your nanny for a while so one of us is going to have to move temporarily."

"Oh... okay. Let's stay at my house."

"Alright," I sighed. " Let me get my stuff."

And then we were off to my house. We arrived, I told Naruto to wait at the door while I got sleep stuff. If I could even sleep while I was there.

Naruto kept looking around curiously. It seemed he really wanted to run around and investigate the personal area I call home,but was keeping himself in place to behave himself, lest he should get threatened with enough sedative to knock out several bull elephants again. Maybe this kid wasn't so bad after all.

I nearly smiled at Naruto when I walked down the hallway to the front door, duffel bag in hand. In it were clean clothes, bathroom items and a few comforting books to read while I was there.

"Ready kakashi-sen-ah, -san?" He asked brightly as I walked up.

"Yeah."

"Let's go!" And go we did. He raced as fast as he could back to his house. Me, astonished by both the abruptness and speed of the kid, fell behind quickly. As much as I wanted to just let him go I found him and kept pace before we reached his house.

I was surprised when I walked in. Living alone, a boy like him, you might've thought his house would be a mess. It was emaculate, I swear. Cleaner than mine, definitely.

He just ran in, and roamed like he was exploring someone else's house, like it was new to him. _'Weird...' _I thought.

"Wow! I didn't know I kept everything so clean!" He shouted.

'_Does that comment make sense at all?'_

"I mean it's like, wow! I didn't know I was capable of making his place so_ clean_!"

"Naruto-san," I began slowly. "What do you mean you didn't know?"

"Huh?" He scratched the back of his head."Oh, I.. uh... Kakashi-san? Can I... uh... confide something to you?"

"...Sure, Naruto-san." I was hesitant.

"Well..." He began to explain that he thought he was sent to a parallel dimesion (that was this world) and that the Naruto from this world was sent to his world. Oh, and that he had to get back before the Naruto from this world caused too much havoc. He explained it so calmly you'd have though he was talking about the weather!

My jaw dropped and I stared at him like he was an alien. I mean really, fighting hundreds of superskilled ninja I can stand, but this, a kid talking about being sent to a parallel dimension, I could not. I nearly turned on my heel back to the Hokage's office and demanded another mission. Almost.

I shook my head.

He looked awkward for a second before saying "Let's get you set up in a room." He turned and showed me to the guest room. It was average sized with a full bed. I sleep on a queen usually, but a full would do.

"Bathroom's down the hall, and my room is the second door to the right." He left me to get set up. With a sigh I arranged my stuff.

~***^***~

It was later on that night, around eleven or so, and Naruto was asleep. I used the window in my room to sneak up to the roof, where I read one of my horror books. I don't know why, but horror books are comforting to me.

It wasn't long at all before Orochimaru found me, reading by moonlight.

"Good evening Kakashi-kun. I see you're all set up here." He took a seat next to me.

I grunted in acknowledgement of his words and his presence.

"Don't be so unhappy Kakashi-kun," He chuckled. "It's only for a little while. I'm strapped with the other two. I cannot take care of one of Naruto's episodes as well. Please understand, you're the only one I'd trust with him."

"That's a bit of a stretch, don't you think?"

"I'm quite certain you'll get to like him. He's very charming when he wants to be."

"Uh-huh."

"Will you please say more than nine words to me?"

" How about 'What the hell were you thinking?! How am I supposed to take care of a kid when I'm..." I trailed off, too uncomfortable and ashamed to finish the sentence.

He looked upset at my reaction. "I'm sorry Kakashi-kun. I know how you feel and maybe you'll be able to get over it by taking care of Naruto."

"Or it could just make the fear worse," I murmured miserably.

He wrapped one of his arms around me. "It won't. Trust me. I have to go get some sleep, and I suggest the same for you too." He kissed my cheek again as a goodbye. I murmured my goodbye.

When he was gone I got up. Climbing back into the room I undress and crawled into bed. I _should_ try to get some sleep.

* * *

**A/N:** Don't say I made Orochimaru too girly and soppy. He's the supreme ninja of goodliness in the parallel world and best friends with Kakashi for some odd reason. This story is so much fun to write! I hope it is as enjoyable to read!

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	3. Breakfast

**A/N:** Lovely, lovely reviewers make me so happy, despite the fourteen hundred pounds of paper I've had to do over the last few weeks. Thankyou all for reviewing! I feel so acomplished. Only the disclaimer and warnings will detain you from the story any longer! Onward reading, ho!

**Warning:** Head back to the prologue.

**Disclaimer:** Naruto ain't mine, cuz if it was Family Guy would air regularly on the show and then episodes would be based around the cast watching it. ____'

~***^***~

* * *

When I woke up the next morning, I had no idea where I was. For a few moments, I had no idea who I was, silly as that sounds. I sat up and looked out the window at Konoha before I remembered.

I am Kakashi Hatake, jounin, ANBU captain and Naruto Uzumaki's current nursemaid. Surprisingly, I wasn't as panicked as I thought I'd be at that last one. I think, had I woken up in my own bed, I would have been absolutely terrified. Funny how what one sees when they wake up effects them, huh?

So I got dressed as usual, and set to the kitchen. What I found there surprised me. Not only surprised me, but horrified me. It was something just undescribable. The kitchen was a _mess_. Not just like a tornado went through, just like a dozen five-year olds went through with pillows and and unlimited resources for mess-making.

And who should I find in that gooey, sticky, awfull mess but Naruto Uzumaki? He wasn't alone either. Sasuke was with him. _Straddling_ Naruto.

"Give it back Naruto-san! I can use a knife just fine!"

"'Just fine'? Please! The way you were waving that thing around- you're not fit to use a spoon!"

"You're one to talk! Can't even walk near matches without lighting a cat on fire!"

"What are you talking about?! I've never lit a cat on fire!"

"Do you have amnesia or something?"

"Of course not!"

"Don't you remember Miss Old Benita's cat! You grabbed it by the tail right in front of her and-"

I couldn't hear anymore. I walked out. I was off to beg for another mission. That's right. Me, Kakashi Hatake, the man who can take whatever's doled out at him, was off to beg because this mission was way out of his league.

At the front door, I met Orochimaru.

"Oh! Have you seen Sasuke-san? He's usually so prompt he gets to the field before I do and - you're not skipping out on Naruto-san, are you?" He read my 'I've-got-to-get-out-of-here-quick' expression.

"I am leaving. I need to see the Hokage. Or a medical nin. Or that marijuana dealer that lives in the alleyway down the street," I admitted. "And Sasuke-san's in the kitchen. He fighting with Naruto-san about something."

"You-!" He grabbed my arm and dragged me back into the house and to the kitchen. He must've been here a lot, 'cause he knew his way around really well.

With all the expertise of a trained child-care professional, he stopped Naruto and Sasuke's skirmish, put them at seperate corners of the table, and kept an eye on them while he began to clean up.

"You could help, y'know!" He yelled at me accusingly.

"You're handling it," I said, standing in the furthest corner of the room, away from the pre-teens.

He stood up, glared at me with hands on his hips, an exasperated expression he's given me thousands of time before on his face. "Well, if you're not going to help, start on breakfast."

"Can do."

I walked over to the fridge and chose ingredients. "W-what would you like, Naruto-san, Sasuke-san? You staying for breakfast too, Oro-kun?"

"Scrambled eggs!" Was the simultaneous reply, except Sasuke added 'Please!' after.

Orochimaru said on his hands and knees, scrubbing the floor with a large hand sponge. "Should invite Sakura-chan over as well, so she doesn't worry too much."

I felt myself pale. "Worry, right."

"Oh, Kakashi-kun! Don't be like that!"

"Be like what? Be like who I am? Be like what my genetic traits say I am? What?" I was beginning to panick at the thought of yet another pre-teen. The only thing that stopped me from going full-on sissy-girl-with-a-large-hairy-spider-on-her-lap was Orochimaru's presence. I was still making breakfast though, have to give me some credit for not cutting my thumb off with the same knife Naruto and Sasuke were fighting about.

"Fine, we won't invite Sakura-chan over."

"'We'? Who's we? Anyway, it's fine. I don't mind cooking."

A sigh. "Kakashi-kun..."

"You never answered."

"Huh?" Orochimaru looked at me with cluelessness.

"I asked if you're staying. You gunna, or what, Oro-kun?"

"Why, yes, I will stay," He smiled at me. "No way I'm missing out on famous Kakashi-sama's cooking! Just need to call Sakura."

He was in the living room when he poked his head in the kitchen and said "French toast please."

"Alright," I just got done making Naruto and Sasuke's breakfast, and walked over to them. On my way I noticed them watching me eagerly. Wait, it wasn't me they were looking at, it was the food in my hands. I tenatively set it down in front of the two and they both dove in with vigour. I backed away slowly.

_'Little boys are too much like ravenous beasts.'_

"Sakura's on her way and I'm starving," Orochimaru said as he reentered the room. I was making his and Sakura's french toasts when the doorbell rang.

I looked at Orochimaru. "Get that?"

He got up to get it.

"More eggs, please!"

"I'm on it."

I had just put Orochimaru and Sakura's plates at their places when Sakura came bounding in the room with a very loud "Good morning Kakashi-san! Food ready yet?"

I jumped, and glared at her. Unaffected she sat down in front of a plate of the freshly-made French toast and asked if it was hers. I nodded.

"Eggs please!" Sasuke yelled from three feet away.

"Over-easy this time!" Naruto yelled too.

"No! Over-hard!" Sasuke had to argue.

I sighed. This was _breakfast_. If there was this much drama already, I don't know I can make it through the day. I began making the boys' eggs, as well as something for myself.

"Kakashi-kun, join us," Orochimaru calmly walked into the room. "Prehaps you could help try to instill table manners into my young students."

"Lessons at breakfast Orochimaru-sensei?" The three young ninjas groaned. Orochimaru simply laughed and sat at his place.

I smiled. Having finished making my food and the eggs, I walked over to the table. Adding another sigh to the air I sat down with the four at the table and with them ate.

* * *

**A/N:** A short little chapter about breakfast the second day. Yea, really, sorry it's so short, but I just got Final Fantasy Fables: Chocobo's Dungeon, I beat Warriors Orochi three times, have one more stage before I beat it a fourth, and I beat Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus. All that, and schoolwork. So I've been busy. Please excuse me if it takes a while to get the rest of the day posted! *bow*


	4. INTERUPTION!

**A/N:** Interuption time!

**Warnings:** Clicky clicky back to prologue button and nakedness in this one. Turn around, turn around!!

**Disclaimer:** I really have to do this? Alright then. Naruto belongs to the respecctive owners. I just own my imagination and this laptop.

**~***^***~**

**- - - It's the actual Naruto world! Not the Parallel world! Third person PoV! - - -**

**~****^****~**

"Naruto-san!" Tsunade yelled at the naked boy standing in the middle of the village. It was autumn, and rather cold for anyone to be out in teeshirts, let alone naked. Tsunade's concern for Naruto had been growing by the day. He'd begun acting... weird since he ran off after Orochimaru and Sasuke. From appearing into his bed from nowhere in clothes no one's ever seen before, to trying to bear hug/tackle Ino, and now this.

Naruto woke up and acted fairly normal until he suddenly started screeching and tearing his clothes off as he ran down the street. He was yelling something unintelligable about a pancake, a tube sock and Ibiki's drawers. He stopped suddenly and just stood with a box of matches that came out of nowhere.

Naruto, who was looking aorund with a mildy curious expression on his face, was also mindlessly playing with said box of matches.

"Naruto-san..."Tsunade started calmly," Give me the matches and tell me what's wrong."

Naruto stared at her like a dog might stare a a person who just did something they thought was peculiar.

"Naruto-san give me those matches now," Tsunade said more forcefully this time. "We'll head down to my office."

Naruto cocked his head at her, with the same expression.

She moved to take the matches from him.

"Naruto-san! Don't you dare do that!" Naruto tried to light Tsunade's hair on fire, ignoring the gasps of the crowd around them and the jounin slowly advancing.

"You look like cat," Naruto said, "Cats bad. Me burn cats 'cause... 'cause.... 'cause they bad. You cat? You bad?"

"What are you talking about?" Kakashi was one of the jounins sneaking up.

Naruto spun around. "Bad kitty!" He shrieked. "No sneaky up on good fox! White kitty wants fire on 'is tail? White kitty backup!!"

By now everyone was either wondering if this was some unorthadox joke Naruto was playing, or whether Orochimaru had replaced his brain with that of a squirrel.

But, while everyone else was contemplating what Naruto had just said, Gai, the brave, strange, green-outfitted hero he is, grabbed Naruto from behind. Unfortunately for him though, he green jump-suit did not burn like living leaves so his eyebrows caught fire pretty quick.

Following his lead, the other jounins and the Hokage pounced, smothering the fire and knocking out Naruto. Asuma, however, lost some teeth in the intial struggle, and Kurenai got a broken nose and black eye.

Eventually, Shizune showed up with sedatives, which didn't work too well, and she was sent for more. And more. And more.

Finally, Naruto was subdued, and the beaten ninja carried him to the hospital. Most pouted all the way there, upset that a genin had messed them up so badly. They were also quite peeved that all the injuries Kakashi came out with was a bruised arm and serious fire damage to his precious Icha Icha Paradise book, which he mourned greatly.

Naruto was strapped to a bed, and their injuries taken care of, they sat down with the Hokage in Naruto's hospital room to discuss what happened, in the way of adults.

"Damn that Naruto! He's more trouble than he's worth!" A jounin (whose name no one knew) yelled. That sparked yelled and other rude comments. Only Kakashi and Tsunade remained quiet.

Okay, so maybe not in the way of adults.

This continued, the Hokage letting it.

Eventually Sakura arrived. She promptly kicked everyone out, including Tsunade, and doted on Naruto.

When Naruto woke up around noon, he was back to himself and asked why he naked, strapped to a bed. He didn't seem to remember anything. Then he went and screamed like a fire alarm, and no one could shut him up for an hour and a half.

The day pretty much went like this. Naruto would act normal for five to ten minutes and then get crazy again.

He actually stayed normal for twenty minutes so they unstrapped him and gave him some clothes. He dressed, then took off, and they found him in the lobby, have a sword fight with an IV pole with a chair he'd named "Taco". Much to the amusement of those waiting there.

The jounin tried to removed him back to his room, but to no avail. He continued to sword fight with "Taco". He suddenly went rigid for a second. He grabbed "Taco" then and started a waltz to music no one could hear but him.

"Can't you 'ear it kitties? Such pretty music floating down gently from above!" He said dreamily.

After aproximately seventeen minutes, Naruto dropped the chair, sat down and started talking to the carpet. Then he acted like "Taco" was interupting his and "Shnaps"'s conversation and begin yelling at the poor chair. Apparently then the chair started crying because Naruto said "No, no, no. 'ush Taco, everyone loves you. You're beautiful, stop crying now."

The carpet got jealous and yelled at Naruto, which then he started crying.

The jounins decided it was time for dinner, and dragged him away.

You can imagine the laughter.

At dinner(in Naruto's room) Naruto grabbed a spoon and started smashing a baked potato with it. When Tsunade asked him why, he said the potato told him he smelt like fish.

Then put him to sleep with sedatives then. It had been a long day.

**A/N:** Uh...... heh, heh.... I wrote this because I have no idea what's going to happen next in the Parallel world. It'll come to me with time.


End file.
